July 3, 2014
Get What You Want by Asking the Right Way
July 3, 2014
Get What You Want by Asking the Right Way
There is no technique in the psychological literature with more power to persuade than simply asking for what you want.
How many times have we wanted a raise, referrals, sales leads, professional advice, or just help with a work project, but never directly asked for it? Instead, we dance around our question and package it in a way so as not to sound too direct.
The beauty industry here on the West Coast is full of smart, generous people with plenty of experience and resources who are often happy enough to help a fellow beauty executive. But sometimes they’re approached with either yes or no questions or the “ask” is too narrow.
If asked the right way, you could surprise yourself with how often you can get what you want. Here’s how:
1. ALWAYS BE ASKING: At our Beauty Biz Roundtable 5 event in 2011, BBR Thought Leader – Madeline Leonard, Director of Cloutier Remix, revealed to her roundtable attendees the importance of keeping business cards of everyone you’ve ever met. “Our industry is so well-connected in ways you can’t even imagine. You never know when you’ll need someone’s help,” she said. Every time you meet someone new whether it’s a new vendor, retailer, or at a networking event or tradeshow, if you feel like they could be helpful to you, make an ask!
2. DON’T GET TUNNEL VISION: Open asks shouldn’t be too strategic. Sometimes we restrict ourselves to a single question or a single person. Try not to get too specific when you’re figuring out who to approach and what to ask. Make your ask open-ended for multiple solutions. Find the right question, and listen to the answers.
3. BE OPEN-MINDED: We see this happening all the time during salary or raise negotiations. People often go into a meeting determined to only ask for one thing. With open asks, you have to listen carefully to what the other person is really trying to convey. If they’re not open to a raise, ask for alternative options like more vacation days or flexibility in working from home. If they refuse to budge on your salary during your job application, ask what you can do to eventually earn that number. Are they willing to re-visit this conversation 6 months from now? Can they discuss it if you can bring in new sales leads? Make the other person feel like you’re working on a solution together, rather than demanding something for yourself.
4. JUST DO IT: Sometimes you just have to be bold. We’ve seen this happen many times at our Beauty Biz Roundatble Series, where in a limited amount of time, beauty executives have to get straight to the point about what they want from each other. Do you want to apply for that open VP of Sales position at your company? ASK. If you ask, people will open up to you.
Don’t underestimate the power of asking.
If you want more out of your job, learn to ask for it…it’s all in HOW you ask!
Avoiding Illegal Interview Questions
The Best Hiring Questions: What to Ask & Why